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Your Success

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.”

— Wayne W. Dyer

When you look at different emotions along a scale, whether they be the higher emotions of love, appreciation, empowerment or success, or whether they are the lower emotions of feeling fearful, miserable, sad and angry. Nobody makes us have the lower emotions in the same way that no one makes us have the higher emotions, responsibility for change ultimately lands on ourselves.


Tip # 1 - Lift your vibration up one step at a time


If you are feeling miserable, try to life the vibration to feeling a little bit less sad to begin with. You are not going to completely change it but you can move the emotion up the scale. If you are feeling a lot of anger, well anger is one of the more positive lower emotions in that it is a moving energy and is much easier to redirect into frustration and then passion. Chanel that energy from anger into something good and put that passion towards a goal that you do want.


Levels from lower to higher emotions: Miserable, Fearful, Sad, Angry, Disconnected, Connected, Whole, Empowered, Success, Love and Appreciation.


Tip #2 - Seek out connection


It goes against your comfort zone when we are in the lower emotions we want to retreat and be alone, however I encourage you to lean into the discomfort and seek connection. The way out of pain and survival is through connection. You might start with connecting through nature or with animals, then you might go to a trusted friend, partner or family member, if that's too much try a third party who's not sole intention is to simply help you judgement free, for example through a life coach, by calling a support help line, booking in with a councilor or professional.


"The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future by merely changing their attitude." –Oprah Winfrey

Tip #3 - Change your attitude


There was time in my life in my early 20's where I had completely lost faith in living. I remember clear as day sitting on the bathroom floor with a blade to my wrist. It took the most enormous amount of courage and fight to pick up my phone and call my parents to tell them how desperate a situation I was in. I asked for help, they booked me on the next flight available to go see them. In that moment of deep despair I seeked out connection. From that moment on I have learnt and applied the same principle when I am struggling. I have built up the muscle to bring people closer to me when I sense pain building, instead of pushing people away. I changed my attitude and it has made all the difference.


Tip #4 - Model others for inspiration


Without a doubt finding the light when you are in the dark is a very powerful tool for success. Look for those people who are lighthouses in your life, be around those who are already living the life you want to achieve for yourself. Those ones that have the twinkle in their eye, like they know the secret. Those who Inspire you, it could be through books, videos, friends, mentors, coaches, be mindful of who you talk to and what you feed your mind with.


Tip #5 - Transformation


Lastly, 95% of transformation is simply having the awareness. Avoid unresourceful behaviour's that are bad for your health and lifestyle, avoid the distractions that take you away from facing the fear head on, the only way through is to feel the pain or discomfort and to continue on despite it all. Bring the problem into focus, look at it often, create daily habits to change, seek out an accountability buddy, or write it down and read your thoughts. Take action to move forward one small step at a time, every sunrise brings forth inspiration to try again.


You are already whole and complete


You already know the answers, you know what is best for you deep down, take responsibility for change: Click here, to book in a complimentary life coaching session. It is through connection that you will find your own success in moving forward. Feel free to leave a comment below if something from this article has struck a cord with you or if you want to commit to one action you are going to take.

Well the shopping center's are decorated with Christmas tinsel, Santa photos have started and the end of year mania has begun.

32 days left of 2022…

So now is probably the most important time to pace yourselves and find a good rhythm as the count down to the holidays gets shorter.


I’ve pulled together 5 steps for you to create the magical ending to 2022 that you deserve.


Step #1 - Use a Calendar & Plan ahead


If you want to create more time for yourself the quickest way is to keep a calendar, yes it seems counter intuitive to spend more time writing things down but stick with me here… write down all your engagements every week. At the end of the week look back over what drained your energy that you can choose not to do in future. Look at the week ahead, what do you think & feel you ‘should’ do? But perhaps don’t want to? Replace should with ‘could’. Could you miss an event, could you say no, could you cancel a couple of the many tasks you have for yourself? As a Life Coach I have helped others with this step many times, we can get paralysed by our beliefs that we ‘should’ do this or ‘should’ do that. Give yourself permission to take control of your calendar, your time & your energy, take your power back and make choices that serve you best. We can still be compassionate to other peoples needs, however we can’t pour from an empty cup.


Step #2 - I’ll have to check my priorities and get back to you


Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!!! Those wonderful invisible fences we have the power to create around us. You don’t have to say yes to everybody. Chances are, if you are reading this from me then you are an empathetic person. Well guess what? Empaths can also become overstretched, overcommitted and can sometimes wake up one day wondering why they are helping everybody else live their dreams instead of their own, always pouring from an empty cup. So the phrase ‘I’ll have to check my priorities and get back to you’ can be a beauty! Empathy + Boundaries = Compassion. Compassion for self & others.


"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you." – Don Miguel Ruiz

Step #3 - Work hard, Play hard…. and Rest


The tough old adage of ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ might just might be your downfall. I mean I’m all for the ‘work hard - play hard’ mindset as long as it works for you, then go hard. As a coach we are not in the business of having you live our way, instead we illicit YOUR strategy behind YOUR thinking and behaviour and test it for results. If the results are what YOU want, then rock on, but if they’re not and if you feel the same pressure this time every year, time and time again… well, then there COULD be YOUR better way.


Step #4 - The Four Agreements


Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a short but impactful book called ‘The Four Agreements’. In this, he teaches a number of principles that can undo many of the frustrations we find ourselves navigating in life.


Don’t take things personally

Don’t make assumptions

Do your best

Be impeccable with your word

Don’t take things personally: no matter what is going on around you, find it in your heart to see it from another’s perspective, as long as you are following step 2, then compassionate understanding is already within your grasp. If your inner Scrooge shows up, be sure to apologise when needed too. Don’t make assumptions: Boy oh boy, if only this was easier said than done, however clear communication and respect for others will go a long way. Do your best: For all the perfectionists out there, doing your best means your 100% not anyone else’s. If you are having a rough day, just do YOUR best, enough that when your head lays on the pillow at night, you know you’ve given your best self. Be impeccable with your word to self: Better to undercommit on your promises, then you can exceed even your own expectations. The fastest way to destroy your self esteem is to keep making short cuts and lowering your standards, like in who you spend time with, in how you look after yourself, in the way you treat other people, by keeping your word to yourself you not only build up your own self esteem but you then begin to trust yourself again which is the seed for confidence in life. Would that start a lovely intention for 2023?


Step #5 - Get swept up in your own Spirit of Christmas


What does this mean for you?


Time with friends, celebrations, donations, gift giving, community performances, new family memories, experiences, a holiday, down time, bring a new animal into your lives, these things can come and go so quickly. Take responsibility to go into each moment with not only presents but presence. Go in where you can to these intentions with your full mind, body and spirit well taken care of and prepared to bring your best. Savour your own happiness at Christmas. Create the fun you deserve with a little thought about what it is that you want and will mean something to you.


If it’s a sad Christmas for you this year, find your time to process and be kind to yourself without the added vices that can pull you down further. Inward reflection can help, as well as support from the many of the people who’s hearts are open and wanting to help. Connection is a wonderful gift to self when healing.


Self lead your life the way YOU need to progress, grow and feel your own success.


So there you have it, 5 steps to improving your mindset & behaviour to navigate this manic time of year from a Life Coach.

Updated: Nov 16, 2022

This article is designed to help you close the gap from

where you are to where you want to be.


Imagine living life by the true north on your soul’s compass. Is your compass spinning around unable to find north? Do you go from one activity to the next because you're an expert at saying 'yes'... let’s break this down and discuss values, priorities, boundaries & ignite that spark that's missing!


WHAT IS YOUR SOUL SAYING ...

The quickest way to find out what your values are is to think of someone who triggers you or does something that creates an emotional response. Let’s say Bob shows up late to an appointment and it drives you mad, then you value time management, or we could get even deeper and it see that 'Integrity' is a value of yours. Your value people who say they will do something and then follow through on their promises. I once did a life changing exercise and now I wish to share it with you look at the following words and choose three that really align with who you are.


RELIABILITY LOYAL COMMITTED HUMOUROUS

SUSTAINABILITY INNOVATION EXCELLENCE OPTIMISTIC

DEPENDABLE PASSIONATE COURAGEOUS POSITIVE

RESPECTFUL INTEGRITY HONESTY NURTURING

FAMILY BALANCE GROUNDING CLARITY

INSPIRING CONSISTENT EFFICIENT OPEN-MINDED

ADVENTUROUS RESOURCEFUL FUN CUSTOMER SERVICE

HUMBLE COMMUNITY RESPONSIBILITY QUALITY

SATISFACTION DELIGHT SUPPORT CARING

PARTNERSHIP BEST VALUE GLOBAL

TEAMWORK LEADERSHIP TEAMWORK DIVERSITY

HUMILITY TRANSPARENCY RESULTS FANATICAL

FRIENDS LISTENING LEARNING EDUCATION



TAKE YOUR TIME BACK......


If I had a dollar for every time I used this sentence I'd be a rich woman! So, you want to know the life changing words that give me back my me time every Monday? 'That's not a priority for me right now'

Now you have you three values I invite you to have a look at your bookings for the week ahead, hopefully you use a diary... and if you don't maybe we could sit down and do a coaching session, but I digress... so what I do is on a Sunday night I sit down and review what’s ahead of me for the week. Then using my values, I look at each item on my to-do list and I ask does that meeting, catch up, class, etc. align with my values. As I scan over my week ahead I look at my values of work/life balance, integrity & grounding. Then I cancel out of my diary what feels like 'too much' or anything that I don't want to go to for me because it is not in line with my main priority... ME!


NOW THE FUN PART!!!!


Okay, okay so as I type I am now getting really pumped up, I am typing faster, sitting up straighter and excited because I know this is where I started to take control of my own happiness. Now that you have cancelled out 2/3 things in your diary its time to replace them with something you LOVE........ yep insert your own, ME TIME into your diary. I like to have a list of 10 things that light me up in my wallet always, then if I get some me time back I go to my list and act to create a moment for myself that ignites a spark in my soul. Stuck for ideas here's a few to get you going... walk in nature, go for a run, meditate, read a book (and don't feel guilty for putting your feet up and relaxing), play with your pets, book a massage, get your hair done, grab a fruit salad or ice cream and sit by the water’s edge just because you can, draw, listen to music, smell a flower, drive somewhere, go to a waterfall, start a project that just for you, call your best friend and soulfully connect ad catch up, dance, sign up for a yoga class, join a tribe of likeminded people............say yes to you!


Tegan Rein

Life Coach and Business Empowerment coach

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