Life Coaching Topic: Responsibility for change
“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.”
— Wayne W. Dyer
When you look at different emotions along a scale, whether they be the higher emotions of love, appreciation, empowerment or success, or whether they are the lower emotions of feeling fearful, miserable, sad and angry. Nobody makes us have the lower emotions in the same way that no one makes us have the higher emotions, responsibility for change ultimately lands on ourselves.
Tip # 1 - Lift your vibration up one step at a time
If you are feeling miserable, try to life the vibration to feeling a little bit less sad to begin with. You are not going to completely change it but you can move the emotion up the scale. If you are feeling a lot of anger, well anger is one of the more positive lower emotions in that it is a moving energy and is much easier to redirect into frustration and then passion. Chanel that energy from anger into something good and put that passion towards a goal that you do want.
Levels from lower to higher emotions: Miserable, Fearful, Sad, Angry, Disconnected, Connected, Whole, Empowered, Success, Love and Appreciation.
Tip #2 - Seek out connection
It goes against your comfort zone when we are in the lower emotions we want to retreat and be alone, however I encourage you to lean into the discomfort and seek connection. The way out of pain and survival is through connection. You might start with connecting through nature or with animals, then you might go to a trusted friend, partner or family member, if that's too much try a third party who's not sole intention is to simply help you judgement free, for example through a life coach, by calling a support help line, booking in with a councilor or professional.
"The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future by merely changing their attitude." –Oprah Winfrey
Tip #3 - Change your attitude
There was time in my life in my early 20's where I had completely lost faith in living. I remember clear as day sitting on the bathroom floor with a blade to my wrist. It took the most enormous amount of courage and fight to pick up my phone and call my parents to tell them how desperate a situation I was in. I asked for help, they booked me on the next flight available to go see them. In that moment of deep despair I seeked out connection. From that moment on I have learnt and applied the same principle when I am struggling. I have built up the muscle to bring people closer to me when I sense pain building, instead of pushing people away. I changed my attitude and it has made all the difference.
Tip #4 - Model others for inspiration
Without a doubt finding the light when you are in the dark is a very powerful tool for success. Look for those people who are lighthouses in your life, be around those who are already living the life you want to achieve for yourself. Those ones that have the twinkle in their eye, like they know the secret. Those who Inspire you, it could be through books, videos, friends, mentors, coaches, be mindful of who you talk to and what you feed your mind with.
Tip #5 - Transformation
Lastly, 95% of transformation is simply having the awareness. Avoid unresourceful behaviour's that are bad for your health and lifestyle, avoid the distractions that take you away from facing the fear head on, the only way through is to feel the pain or discomfort and to continue on despite it all. Bring the problem into focus, look at it often, create daily habits to change, seek out an accountability buddy, or write it down and read your thoughts. Take action to move forward one small step at a time, every sunrise brings forth inspiration to try again.
You are already whole and complete
You already know the answers, you know what is best for you deep down, take responsibility for change: Click here, to book in a complimentary life coaching session. It is through connection that you will find your own success in moving forward. Feel free to leave a comment below if something from this article has struck a cord with you or if you want to commit to one action you are going to take.