Well the shopping center's are decorated with Christmas tinsel, Santa photos have started and the end of year mania has begun.
32 days left of 2022…
So now is probably the most important time to pace yourselves and find a good rhythm as the count down to the holidays gets shorter.
I’ve pulled together 5 steps for you to create the magical ending to 2022 that you deserve.
Step #1 - Use a Calendar & Plan ahead
If you want to create more time for yourself the quickest way is to keep a calendar, yes it seems counter intuitive to spend more time writing things down but stick with me here… write down all your engagements every week. At the end of the week look back over what drained your energy that you can choose not to do in future. Look at the week ahead, what do you think & feel you ‘should’ do? But perhaps don’t want to? Replace should with ‘could’. Could you miss an event, could you say no, could you cancel a couple of the many tasks you have for yourself? As a Life Coach I have helped others with this step many times, we can get paralysed by our beliefs that we ‘should’ do this or ‘should’ do that. Give yourself permission to take control of your calendar, your time & your energy, take your power back and make choices that serve you best. We can still be compassionate to other peoples needs, however we can’t pour from an empty cup.
Step #2 - I’ll have to check my priorities and get back to you
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!!! Those wonderful invisible fences we have the power to create around us. You don’t have to say yes to everybody. Chances are, if you are reading this from me then you are an empathetic person. Well guess what? Empaths can also become overstretched, overcommitted and can sometimes wake up one day wondering why they are helping everybody else live their dreams instead of their own, always pouring from an empty cup. So the phrase ‘I’ll have to check my priorities and get back to you’ can be a beauty! Empathy + Boundaries = Compassion. Compassion for self & others.
"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you." – Don Miguel Ruiz
Step #3 - Work hard, Play hard…. and Rest
The tough old adage of ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ might just might be your downfall. I mean I’m all for the ‘work hard - play hard’ mindset as long as it works for you, then go hard. As a coach we are not in the business of having you live our way, instead we illicit YOUR strategy behind YOUR thinking and behaviour and test it for results. If the results are what YOU want, then rock on, but if they’re not and if you feel the same pressure this time every year, time and time again… well, then there COULD be YOUR better way.
Step #4 - The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a short but impactful book called ‘The Four Agreements’. In this, he teaches a number of principles that can undo many of the frustrations we find ourselves navigating in life.
Don’t take things personally
Don’t make assumptions
Do your best
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take things personally: no matter what is going on around you, find it in your heart to see it from another’s perspective, as long as you are following step 2, then compassionate understanding is already within your grasp. If your inner Scrooge shows up, be sure to apologise when needed too. Don’t make assumptions: Boy oh boy, if only this was easier said than done, however clear communication and respect for others will go a long way. Do your best: For all the perfectionists out there, doing your best means your 100% not anyone else’s. If you are having a rough day, just do YOUR best, enough that when your head lays on the pillow at night, you know you’ve given your best self. Be impeccable with your word to self: Better to undercommit on your promises, then you can exceed even your own expectations. The fastest way to destroy your self esteem is to keep making short cuts and lowering your standards, like in who you spend time with, in how you look after yourself, in the way you treat other people, by keeping your word to yourself you not only build up your own self esteem but you then begin to trust yourself again which is the seed for confidence in life. Would that start a lovely intention for 2023?
Step #5 - Get swept up in your own Spirit of Christmas
What does this mean for you?
Time with friends, celebrations, donations, gift giving, community performances, new family memories, experiences, a holiday, down time, bring a new animal into your lives, these things can come and go so quickly. Take responsibility to go into each moment with not only presents but presence. Go in where you can to these intentions with your full mind, body and spirit well taken care of and prepared to bring your best. Savour your own happiness at Christmas. Create the fun you deserve with a little thought about what it is that you want and will mean something to you.
If it’s a sad Christmas for you this year, find your time to process and be kind to yourself without the added vices that can pull you down further. Inward reflection can help, as well as support from the many of the people who’s hearts are open and wanting to help. Connection is a wonderful gift to self when healing.
Self lead your life the way YOU need to progress, grow and feel your own success.
So there you have it, 5 steps to improving your mindset & behaviour to navigate this manic time of year from a Life Coach.